How Lonely could the world be if there was no one there to love me, I searched to find a calmer peace of mind. But Loneliness and Heartache seem to grasp the better part of me each time. I reach out for love to only get something that is nothing and treated as if my world has no time. Disregard me from what you feel is right look past me as if I am not standing there. for I am a ghost dying to be seen. " I scream Look at me, I am here, I am here, Listen to me for the words that I say are of my own. My life, My pain my sorrows for which they have brought me pain.
I can tell you of a man that I once knew, someone who was filled with the promises that a realness of you.
Torture my only device for exsistence, loneliness is a familiar world that I have always known. Search to find..a distance that is mine. a truth a better part of me
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Sunday, September 2, 2012
That Window Of Opportunity
I made a change in my life a few weeks ago, I packed up what I could bring by Greyhound and what little that could be shipped by Fed-Ex and left the rest behind to one day be placed in the mail and delivered to me by friends and family.
I relocated to Portland Oregon. I know right? I didn't do my research well enough because if I would have I think that maybe I would have fought with the powers that be just a little bit longer until there was an acutal comfort zone that I thought that I had wanted to be in. Now I am Here, I am loving the city and all that it has to offer in the ways of culture and a much different way of living.
feeling a bit alienated from the world and so far away from what I am used to. I have spent most of my time in doors and not really adventured off into the city except for that one time I explored Downtown for a few hours. Completely judging the place from The rejection yet again from the Gay Community due to the difference in preference. I judged the city on just that experience alone.
I have been stood up quite a few times on coffee dates from guys who have asked me out for just coffee, because that was the only place that they would get with me. But I messed up and made a mistake once again by judging my first hand experience on what I was exposed to early on.
Stepping out of your comfort zone and allowing yourself to explore life for what it really has to offer. I have been realizing lately that this is a prime opportunity for me to have my rebirthing experience that I have been wanting and looking for in life. Still a bit afraid of what is out there, I am needing to experience this on my own. I know that although I will have to leave some people behind and maybe looking at what tools I have such as my social networking, which at the moment may not be working very well so much for me. due to the fact that most people have have deleted from my page and blocked.
I was told by a friend that I don't give people a chance and that I tend to cut people off a little to fast.
I have really been thinking about that comment lately and I have come to the conclusion that I am not going to take the responsibility for that one, because we all have the choice to want to pursue relationships and to make them want to grow. When there is an intial exchanging of Phone numbers and someone calls or text you just to say hello and there is no response at all of a week later you will get a who is this, in my opinion that is something that needs to be looked at by the person that it is happening to.
I wish that I had some magical potions to make me not feel this way, also maybe allow me to move on to where I need to be. That is completely up to me. to do that and make a change in that department. I am noticing that the people that are commenting and judging you are the ones that have made you feel this way in the first place.
I wish everyone well, and know that my words are not meant to hurt anyone on any level. But What I am experiencing is very real at this moment and the truth is the only thing that I have to look at right now.
Take Care of Yourselves and everyone else
Kenneth
I relocated to Portland Oregon. I know right? I didn't do my research well enough because if I would have I think that maybe I would have fought with the powers that be just a little bit longer until there was an acutal comfort zone that I thought that I had wanted to be in. Now I am Here, I am loving the city and all that it has to offer in the ways of culture and a much different way of living.
feeling a bit alienated from the world and so far away from what I am used to. I have spent most of my time in doors and not really adventured off into the city except for that one time I explored Downtown for a few hours. Completely judging the place from The rejection yet again from the Gay Community due to the difference in preference. I judged the city on just that experience alone.
I have been stood up quite a few times on coffee dates from guys who have asked me out for just coffee, because that was the only place that they would get with me. But I messed up and made a mistake once again by judging my first hand experience on what I was exposed to early on.
Stepping out of your comfort zone and allowing yourself to explore life for what it really has to offer. I have been realizing lately that this is a prime opportunity for me to have my rebirthing experience that I have been wanting and looking for in life. Still a bit afraid of what is out there, I am needing to experience this on my own. I know that although I will have to leave some people behind and maybe looking at what tools I have such as my social networking, which at the moment may not be working very well so much for me. due to the fact that most people have have deleted from my page and blocked.
I was told by a friend that I don't give people a chance and that I tend to cut people off a little to fast.
I have really been thinking about that comment lately and I have come to the conclusion that I am not going to take the responsibility for that one, because we all have the choice to want to pursue relationships and to make them want to grow. When there is an intial exchanging of Phone numbers and someone calls or text you just to say hello and there is no response at all of a week later you will get a who is this, in my opinion that is something that needs to be looked at by the person that it is happening to.
I wish that I had some magical potions to make me not feel this way, also maybe allow me to move on to where I need to be. That is completely up to me. to do that and make a change in that department. I am noticing that the people that are commenting and judging you are the ones that have made you feel this way in the first place.
I wish everyone well, and know that my words are not meant to hurt anyone on any level. But What I am experiencing is very real at this moment and the truth is the only thing that I have to look at right now.
Take Care of Yourselves and everyone else
Kenneth
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Staying True to yourself
In today's world we all have to fight to keep our own idenities. At times we are judged because we may speak the wrong way or not dress to someone else's standards, yet we have to keep pressing on to show the world that we are alot better than just what and who they think we are.
I am a gay christian. A man who fears God and lives on his faith, I dare not take where I am in my life for granted because I know that I did not get here alone not by any means. I struggle to save some part of myself everyday, being confined to this world and not being capable of allowing myself not to feel things because I am human. I do feel as if there is a reason for the pain sometimes. I was told once that I wasn't black enough! or that I didn't come across like other Gay men did, as being fashionable and into the gay scene and often sometimes called racist because I chose to stay with what was comfortable to me and what I could identify with in my life. There is a story here a journey that I am on.
You can choose to ignore what I have to say or turn away from it. that is your choice. My soul purpose is to help other Young Gay Men of color to know that there is a world out there where they can exsist and be loved, as long as they love themselves with every ounce of who they are. Believing in what people say you are; that is the negative comments and the things that have brought you to the point that you were in tears.
I was 15 years old when I discovered that I like men, well that is truly admitted to myself that I was different in many ways. I did not identify with the world outside of my closet; the colors were not as bright in the outside world as they were inside this room, this world that I lived in. Things remained that way for quite sometime in mylife.
Now I can speak freely about these things. I was 16 when I tried to kill myself. I took 5 valum and it was on the night of the 1991 grammy awards, and I was laying on my aunts couch half dazed and out of it. with no one knowing what I had done. I remember someone shaking me and saying there is your girl she is on tv. I looked up and there was Mariah Carey, the truth is I didn't know what was going on around me. I focused in on her that night. She began to sing and the words of spoke to me. I had a Vision Of Love. The tone of her voice was amazing, still out of it and in emotional pain. I stayed focused on her singing, I felt as if her voice was saying something to me it was as if God were speaking through her, since then she was my guardian angel. That is the truth no one knew that story except a close friend. I still was ashamed up until now to tell the truth about my connection to Mariah.. being that it was more or so the voice that was connecting me to what I felt inside.
I later told someone about what I had done. A few months later I was hospitalized for 3 months...
the reason why I am being candid now is because I want someone else to benefit from my life and struggles and to know that you are never alone no matter how much you may feel alone.
There are reasons people come into your life, although they may not stay, and you may not understand fully why it is that they are there. Just know that there are moments in our lives where we are meant to challenge ourselves and grow from it. The past was yesterday, today is an amazing gift and tomorrow if we are here by God's grace then we know that we are meant to work in and on our lives, but not for us but for the sake of saving someone else.
You may never know but a smile at someone may save their life, a simple hello will one day stop someone from doing something that may hurt others.
I am about Love and that is what you will always find in my writings. Love is the only thing that will keep us alive and help us grow and go further in our lives.
Please take care of Yourselves and Each other.
Kenneth Phillips
I am a gay christian. A man who fears God and lives on his faith, I dare not take where I am in my life for granted because I know that I did not get here alone not by any means. I struggle to save some part of myself everyday, being confined to this world and not being capable of allowing myself not to feel things because I am human. I do feel as if there is a reason for the pain sometimes. I was told once that I wasn't black enough! or that I didn't come across like other Gay men did, as being fashionable and into the gay scene and often sometimes called racist because I chose to stay with what was comfortable to me and what I could identify with in my life. There is a story here a journey that I am on.
You can choose to ignore what I have to say or turn away from it. that is your choice. My soul purpose is to help other Young Gay Men of color to know that there is a world out there where they can exsist and be loved, as long as they love themselves with every ounce of who they are. Believing in what people say you are; that is the negative comments and the things that have brought you to the point that you were in tears.
I was 15 years old when I discovered that I like men, well that is truly admitted to myself that I was different in many ways. I did not identify with the world outside of my closet; the colors were not as bright in the outside world as they were inside this room, this world that I lived in. Things remained that way for quite sometime in mylife.
Now I can speak freely about these things. I was 16 when I tried to kill myself. I took 5 valum and it was on the night of the 1991 grammy awards, and I was laying on my aunts couch half dazed and out of it. with no one knowing what I had done. I remember someone shaking me and saying there is your girl she is on tv. I looked up and there was Mariah Carey, the truth is I didn't know what was going on around me. I focused in on her that night. She began to sing and the words of spoke to me. I had a Vision Of Love. The tone of her voice was amazing, still out of it and in emotional pain. I stayed focused on her singing, I felt as if her voice was saying something to me it was as if God were speaking through her, since then she was my guardian angel. That is the truth no one knew that story except a close friend. I still was ashamed up until now to tell the truth about my connection to Mariah.. being that it was more or so the voice that was connecting me to what I felt inside.
I later told someone about what I had done. A few months later I was hospitalized for 3 months...
the reason why I am being candid now is because I want someone else to benefit from my life and struggles and to know that you are never alone no matter how much you may feel alone.
There are reasons people come into your life, although they may not stay, and you may not understand fully why it is that they are there. Just know that there are moments in our lives where we are meant to challenge ourselves and grow from it. The past was yesterday, today is an amazing gift and tomorrow if we are here by God's grace then we know that we are meant to work in and on our lives, but not for us but for the sake of saving someone else.
You may never know but a smile at someone may save their life, a simple hello will one day stop someone from doing something that may hurt others.
I am about Love and that is what you will always find in my writings. Love is the only thing that will keep us alive and help us grow and go further in our lives.
Please take care of Yourselves and Each other.
Kenneth Phillips
Friday, August 24, 2012
Complications Of Love
I sat enjoying the company of a wonderful man this evening, as I listened to the stories that he told me about how he felt about love and his views on the feeling of love. I asked him if he thought if love was an emotion or a feeling? his response was simply this, they are two very different words but have the same meaning. I came to ask myself is there a difference? is a feeling the same as an emotion. Asking if we as people Complicate Love? His response was yes we do.
At times we tend to look at Love as being a challenge that is not infact something that we do not understand! How can we understand something that we fear. Love is an action, it is something we feel and we act up on. Love come in many different forms to us. The way we love our family, friends and our partners. Relationships turn from being in the moment to being nonexsistant due to people giving up on the will to fight for something that is apart of us. and yes sometimes Love and relationships don't work out. How can you say to yourself that you gave your best when there was no understanding of one's self of this emotion, this feeling, this action.
Love is all around us, in our music, in people we see everyday and the love we see and feel when we see ourselves. Yet there is still a lack of it in the world, in our universe various statements come to mind. God ask How can you Love me whom you cannot see, but not love your brother whom you see everyday. Whitney Houston sang The Greatest Love Of All, is the love that we have for ourselves. These things that complicate our actions on love are of our own doing. If we can find that One part of ourselves and accept who we are inside and out. The relationships we have with other would be that much greater.
Love is something that I am very passionate about and I search to find on a daily basis, by giving myself a little of it everyday. I to will find that special someone that will complete the wholeness of who I am. although it needs to start inside of me.
For those of you wanting and looking for it. I challenge you to make a list of what your perfect mate would look like. taking all of the atributes from actors, co workers , personality traits from your favorite song that describes how you think love will look like. take your time in doing this. once you are done. Post it in my message board please so that only I can read them. I will post mine on this page so that you can get an idea. of what I am talking about. Be honest. this excersise will help you get an idea of who you are, and also say where you are in your life based on the type of person that you would like to be with.
Thank You, and Take care of yourselves and each other.
Love,Kenneth
At times we tend to look at Love as being a challenge that is not infact something that we do not understand! How can we understand something that we fear. Love is an action, it is something we feel and we act up on. Love come in many different forms to us. The way we love our family, friends and our partners. Relationships turn from being in the moment to being nonexsistant due to people giving up on the will to fight for something that is apart of us. and yes sometimes Love and relationships don't work out. How can you say to yourself that you gave your best when there was no understanding of one's self of this emotion, this feeling, this action.
Love is all around us, in our music, in people we see everyday and the love we see and feel when we see ourselves. Yet there is still a lack of it in the world, in our universe various statements come to mind. God ask How can you Love me whom you cannot see, but not love your brother whom you see everyday. Whitney Houston sang The Greatest Love Of All, is the love that we have for ourselves. These things that complicate our actions on love are of our own doing. If we can find that One part of ourselves and accept who we are inside and out. The relationships we have with other would be that much greater.
Love is something that I am very passionate about and I search to find on a daily basis, by giving myself a little of it everyday. I to will find that special someone that will complete the wholeness of who I am. although it needs to start inside of me.
For those of you wanting and looking for it. I challenge you to make a list of what your perfect mate would look like. taking all of the atributes from actors, co workers , personality traits from your favorite song that describes how you think love will look like. take your time in doing this. once you are done. Post it in my message board please so that only I can read them. I will post mine on this page so that you can get an idea. of what I am talking about. Be honest. this excersise will help you get an idea of who you are, and also say where you are in your life based on the type of person that you would like to be with.
Thank You, and Take care of yourselves and each other.
Love,Kenneth
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Reiventing Your Life
I was having a conversation with someone the other day and we were talking about life and how we sometimes need that change to become who we were meant to be in life. This got me to thinking about people and how we allow life to get away from us.
So I began to ask these same questions to myself, where am I in my life. am I living and the answer was the same No! I was not living my life.
I went over the list in my head a million times and still came back with the same answer to everything on my list.
Where does and should my happiness begin? Should I keep saying that I am unhappy and allow myself to go on this way or should I change it?
I decided to change it..
What I am trying to say is don't allow yourself to get so caught up in the things around you that, there is really no time for you and development in your life..
Take Care,
Kenneth
So I began to ask these same questions to myself, where am I in my life. am I living and the answer was the same No! I was not living my life.
I went over the list in my head a million times and still came back with the same answer to everything on my list.
Where does and should my happiness begin? Should I keep saying that I am unhappy and allow myself to go on this way or should I change it?
I decided to change it..
What I am trying to say is don't allow yourself to get so caught up in the things around you that, there is really no time for you and development in your life..
Take Care,
Kenneth
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Life and What it has to Offer
Life is about Balance, We all have our wants and desires in this life. Never allow yourself to get blindsided by what you want and what you actually need. It's that hunger and the thurst for life that drives us into our passions. Keep looking because you may never know what is waiting for you at the middle or the end of your journey. Never let the misunderstandings of yesterday guide you into what you are destined for today.
A life unnoticed is a life worth searching for. Love and be Loved. allow your heart to feel that rhythm inside of you. As your feet move Dance, feel the rays of the sun bathe you in her rays of warmness that flows through her love. Hold yourself, feel the touch of your own skin as it becomes one inside of you, take a breath, slowly as the earth welcomes you to life,
Explore who you are. Your well being your life, Your are not about living for the moments but creating them from fear, disillusions, anger, these are all things that welcome you into life, welcome them and turn them around with love for you. Allow that love to live outside of you.
Move into your life not away from it, fight no more, Give into what the universe has for you.
share in the energy share in the warmth share in the love.
I hope that you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed creating it for you.
Take Care,
Kenneth
A life unnoticed is a life worth searching for. Love and be Loved. allow your heart to feel that rhythm inside of you. As your feet move Dance, feel the rays of the sun bathe you in her rays of warmness that flows through her love. Hold yourself, feel the touch of your own skin as it becomes one inside of you, take a breath, slowly as the earth welcomes you to life,
Explore who you are. Your well being your life, Your are not about living for the moments but creating them from fear, disillusions, anger, these are all things that welcome you into life, welcome them and turn them around with love for you. Allow that love to live outside of you.
Move into your life not away from it, fight no more, Give into what the universe has for you.
share in the energy share in the warmth share in the love.
I hope that you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed creating it for you.
Take Care,
Kenneth
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
We Fight To Win
When a war starts, sometimes we are not prepared for the battle that is in front of us.
So we take a deep breathe and close our eyes then we go in. Our shields are up protecting what is most important to us, our lives.
Let's fight to stay alive, Let's fight to Love..
Who we are and what we stand for shapes our paths in life. Never allow anyone to stand in your way of your life because you only get one. Live In Love and It shall be recieved.
Take Care,
Kenney
So we take a deep breathe and close our eyes then we go in. Our shields are up protecting what is most important to us, our lives.
Let's fight to stay alive, Let's fight to Love..
Who we are and what we stand for shapes our paths in life. Never allow anyone to stand in your way of your life because you only get one. Live In Love and It shall be recieved.
Take Care,
Kenney
Monday, February 20, 2012
Journey's
Mistaskes are lessons that are given to us by the universe to succeed in life rather you have been pushed down and held there by what your past and those around you, The weight of that hand and that voice are only walls that can be broken.
Your Journey is you walk and no one else's believe in your heart that you can survive with Love
Your Journey is you walk and no one else's believe in your heart that you can survive with Love
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Learning your new road
At times in life we don't know where we will end up or who will continue to stay in our lives.
it is this unknown fear that drives us and gives us that undying energy to carry on through our journey
we must try to be open and willing to experience ourselves to no end rather it be in Love, or a road that has never been traveled. Our faith sometimes is questioned by events and people that have hurt us or challenged us to react in a much way that is different than we are use too.
I'm 36 soon be 37 in a few months, My journey has just begun I still have yet to learn the road that I am traveling. though I may have to say goodbye to a few people that have played a some what significant part in my life. I am ready for the challenge..
it is this unknown fear that drives us and gives us that undying energy to carry on through our journey
we must try to be open and willing to experience ourselves to no end rather it be in Love, or a road that has never been traveled. Our faith sometimes is questioned by events and people that have hurt us or challenged us to react in a much way that is different than we are use too.
I'm 36 soon be 37 in a few months, My journey has just begun I still have yet to learn the road that I am traveling. though I may have to say goodbye to a few people that have played a some what significant part in my life. I am ready for the challenge..
Out Look On Racism in the Gay Community
Lonileness comes from one separating themselves from the world. Their exsistence is based on how others accept them.
This has been a problem for many years in the gay community. Remember that first time that you knew that you had different thoughts? You liked Luke Skywalker instead of falling for Princess Lea. Then you get older and the experience happens with someone of the same sex. It felt different but good at the sametime, then there are those voices telling you that it is not ok for you to be this way. that God won't love you because you are different or that way.
If you look at it we are all that way in some form or another, black, White, Latino, Asian, Jewish, Catholic, Christian,
Who are we to say that this is not ok what God you worship or how you should look.
I've lived in Las Vegas for almost 12 years. I have been witness to many things that just didn't seem right to me. like the separation of the Gay community. there is a fine line and you know where you should walk and how far to go. Our social websites where this is really expressed like age, race and the way you should look or what social group that you should be in. Yet I look at the same men and women that are fighting for rights to marry and love out in the open, but these are the same people that say my preference is only to date white men, or asians or go as far as saying that Black men are Rude and we cheat and hide the fact that we are gay that's why AIDS is so widely spread in our community.
This troubles me because how are we suppose to grow as a community and let the rest of the world accept us or teach them to accept us I should say if we cannot even look at one another and be socially accepting.
isn't the Gay Flag a rainbow and if I am not mistaken it is also a multitude of colors right?
So where do you get off telling me that I am less than you because of where I come from and how I should act in our world. Look in the mirror and look around you and the world that you live in.
as I have said before everyones journey is different and until you have seen where they have come from you don't have a right to judge.
Please do not preach God's unspoken word to me, because if I am not mistaken He did preach love and acceptence of your fellow man. also his disciples where a groups of whores, drug addicts and drunks.. am I not wrong. I don't know what words you are reading but the one's that I see and understand are words of Love..
Thank You and Take care
Kenneth
This has been a problem for many years in the gay community. Remember that first time that you knew that you had different thoughts? You liked Luke Skywalker instead of falling for Princess Lea. Then you get older and the experience happens with someone of the same sex. It felt different but good at the sametime, then there are those voices telling you that it is not ok for you to be this way. that God won't love you because you are different or that way.
If you look at it we are all that way in some form or another, black, White, Latino, Asian, Jewish, Catholic, Christian,
Who are we to say that this is not ok what God you worship or how you should look.
I've lived in Las Vegas for almost 12 years. I have been witness to many things that just didn't seem right to me. like the separation of the Gay community. there is a fine line and you know where you should walk and how far to go. Our social websites where this is really expressed like age, race and the way you should look or what social group that you should be in. Yet I look at the same men and women that are fighting for rights to marry and love out in the open, but these are the same people that say my preference is only to date white men, or asians or go as far as saying that Black men are Rude and we cheat and hide the fact that we are gay that's why AIDS is so widely spread in our community.
This troubles me because how are we suppose to grow as a community and let the rest of the world accept us or teach them to accept us I should say if we cannot even look at one another and be socially accepting.
isn't the Gay Flag a rainbow and if I am not mistaken it is also a multitude of colors right?
So where do you get off telling me that I am less than you because of where I come from and how I should act in our world. Look in the mirror and look around you and the world that you live in.
as I have said before everyones journey is different and until you have seen where they have come from you don't have a right to judge.
Please do not preach God's unspoken word to me, because if I am not mistaken He did preach love and acceptence of your fellow man. also his disciples where a groups of whores, drug addicts and drunks.. am I not wrong. I don't know what words you are reading but the one's that I see and understand are words of Love..
Thank You and Take care
Kenneth
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Just A Thought
Acceptence is the Love growing inside of you, Love equals respect for not only oneself but those around you. Saying I love you to someone is easy to do, showing someone you love them will always come as the real truth.
Truth is never seeing someones past but noticing their future.
The past is something that happened yesterday and there are no do overs.
Yesterday is a word commonly used to describe something that has happened the day before. for instance I loved that movie, doesn't mean that you like it any less today but you loved what it did for you yesterday.
Change can come from with inside of you and around you. Sometimes change comes in the form of a friend sayin goodbye, a Lover no longer finding what they loved about you yesterday, may not come in the form of what type of love they need today. This does not give us or people the right to walk out of your life because things get tough.
Storms come and go. Love is like a shield that covers you from the rain, a blanket when your cold, an ear when you need someone to talk to, a hand to hold when there is quidence to be given.
Giving is forgiving, Hurt should not, will not and has not stopped the love in your heart. For that is the strongest power that you can have over anyone and anything.
I Love me there for I will not take what you are offering to me. Part time Love is not love at all, but a way of something that you need to escape from, work, a loved one, money troubles.
How Much is your self worth you are worth much more than nonexsisting phone calls of people who call when they say they will, you respect yourself so much more than a text that is sent out and never answered. Your time is more valuable than making plans with someone to find out that they are not home and they was busy doing something else.
This my friends are just thoughts and things that I have noticed these past few weeks from people telling me how they feel about others or witnessing first hand how sometimes the love that is shown is the truth that you sometimes need to let go instead of holding on..
Your life is so much more than just the social network of facebook, twitter. find the peace and acceptence in you Love from within gain a sense of responsiblity and become your own bestfriend. You are worthy of finding love..and having love..
Take Care,
Kenneth
Truth is never seeing someones past but noticing their future.
The past is something that happened yesterday and there are no do overs.
Yesterday is a word commonly used to describe something that has happened the day before. for instance I loved that movie, doesn't mean that you like it any less today but you loved what it did for you yesterday.
Change can come from with inside of you and around you. Sometimes change comes in the form of a friend sayin goodbye, a Lover no longer finding what they loved about you yesterday, may not come in the form of what type of love they need today. This does not give us or people the right to walk out of your life because things get tough.
Storms come and go. Love is like a shield that covers you from the rain, a blanket when your cold, an ear when you need someone to talk to, a hand to hold when there is quidence to be given.
Giving is forgiving, Hurt should not, will not and has not stopped the love in your heart. For that is the strongest power that you can have over anyone and anything.
I Love me there for I will not take what you are offering to me. Part time Love is not love at all, but a way of something that you need to escape from, work, a loved one, money troubles.
How Much is your self worth you are worth much more than nonexsisting phone calls of people who call when they say they will, you respect yourself so much more than a text that is sent out and never answered. Your time is more valuable than making plans with someone to find out that they are not home and they was busy doing something else.
This my friends are just thoughts and things that I have noticed these past few weeks from people telling me how they feel about others or witnessing first hand how sometimes the love that is shown is the truth that you sometimes need to let go instead of holding on..
Your life is so much more than just the social network of facebook, twitter. find the peace and acceptence in you Love from within gain a sense of responsiblity and become your own bestfriend. You are worthy of finding love..and having love..
Take Care,
Kenneth
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Secrets Of The Unknown
We were standing across the room sending messages to each other, slightly glances up from my phone, smiling enough to let him know that I was acknowledging his last message. LOl smiley face was my reply. I couldnt help myself to be madly in love with this man, but we lived in a completely different world that would not allow us to be together publicly. Although it was accepted in my corner of the world which was movies, but he was the rapperr/actor that dazzeled a girl here and there, but it was me who was getting the love an attention of course when we could sneak away from the cameras and entourage.
Glitz and Glamour was all around us how would anyone noticed if we even sneaked a kiss every now and then, but that too was just to much.
Are you meeting me tonight in my hotel room smiley face with the tongue sticking out.
No I replied I have that photo shoot in the morning with people magazine for that 50 most beautiful people
thing they do every year.
Oh that's wassup Da'vone replied.
using his real name made it a little more real for me so that's what I chose
You do know that I'm in that issue too right? so there is a possible chance that we could see each other at the shoot.
Oh my friend I wouldnt count on it, I replied hitting the send button and looking in his general direction biting my bottom lip. oh by the way you look damn good in that suit tonight. I just might have to tip toe in the direction of your room tonight.
You can't play wit a brotha like that and expect me not to get a little excited. Congrats on the award for best actor you deserved it, I mean you are good at what you do.
Well thank you Da'vone that is the nicest thing you've said to me since hmmm the other night. well I got to make an exit so this is the last message before I erase.. Love Papa Boy.
Papa boy was his nick name for me when we chated like this.
Love you too I replied. Oh b4ug u didn't say a thing about how I looked tonight. You didnt even know the
bracelet that I was wearing. Smiley face..
I did papa it's the one I got you when I was filming my music video..I'll call you later.. Night...
Mr. Sebastian we have some people over here that would like to say hello to you, ok I'll be there in a moment. I need to finish up this email Sarah my asistant just emailed me a script that was sent to her..
James Anthony how does it feel to be the big winner here tonight these questions were coming from everywhere I couldn't see beyond the flashing lights to know where it was coming from, I shrugged smiled and said It feels great to be acknowledged by your peers and your fans most of all for this is for them that I do this oh and side note the free outfits.
Who are you wearing tonight James? I knew the voice but could not see the face.
Gucci I replied I am wearing Gucci and rightfully so..
James we have to go you have an appearence to make at the after party, Gisselle my publicist whispered in my ear.
Well guys sorry I gotta go, I am being summoned , It was a pleasure speaking with all of you. thank you.
Glitz and Glamour was all around us how would anyone noticed if we even sneaked a kiss every now and then, but that too was just to much.
Are you meeting me tonight in my hotel room smiley face with the tongue sticking out.
No I replied I have that photo shoot in the morning with people magazine for that 50 most beautiful people
thing they do every year.
Oh that's wassup Da'vone replied.
using his real name made it a little more real for me so that's what I chose
You do know that I'm in that issue too right? so there is a possible chance that we could see each other at the shoot.
Oh my friend I wouldnt count on it, I replied hitting the send button and looking in his general direction biting my bottom lip. oh by the way you look damn good in that suit tonight. I just might have to tip toe in the direction of your room tonight.
You can't play wit a brotha like that and expect me not to get a little excited. Congrats on the award for best actor you deserved it, I mean you are good at what you do.
Well thank you Da'vone that is the nicest thing you've said to me since hmmm the other night. well I got to make an exit so this is the last message before I erase.. Love Papa Boy.
Papa boy was his nick name for me when we chated like this.
Love you too I replied. Oh b4ug u didn't say a thing about how I looked tonight. You didnt even know the
bracelet that I was wearing. Smiley face..
I did papa it's the one I got you when I was filming my music video..I'll call you later.. Night...
Mr. Sebastian we have some people over here that would like to say hello to you, ok I'll be there in a moment. I need to finish up this email Sarah my asistant just emailed me a script that was sent to her..
James Anthony how does it feel to be the big winner here tonight these questions were coming from everywhere I couldn't see beyond the flashing lights to know where it was coming from, I shrugged smiled and said It feels great to be acknowledged by your peers and your fans most of all for this is for them that I do this oh and side note the free outfits.
Who are you wearing tonight James? I knew the voice but could not see the face.
Gucci I replied I am wearing Gucci and rightfully so..
James we have to go you have an appearence to make at the after party, Gisselle my publicist whispered in my ear.
Well guys sorry I gotta go, I am being summoned , It was a pleasure speaking with all of you. thank you.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Obeservations On Love
Dear Friends,
Thank You for the Happy Valentines wishes and the online flowers and hugs, that really meant alot to me.
I hope that you all enjoyed your day and also took today to reflect on the relationship aspect of your lives.
I went to a movie and had a lovely meal today alone. I sat there looking at the couples holding hands and kissing
most girls with flowers in one hand and a teddy bear in the other along with their boyfriends, husbands holding their
purses in the other. This was something that did not surprise me. For today was the one day besides your birthday where
you could get into it without any questions. Girls this does not leave you out of this either. Manipulation is always key sometimes to.
The real reason for this letter is to enlighten you on Being with oneself on a day like this. yes it may get rough sometimes to not have a hug or a kiss or even a hand to hold. It's more about being comfortable with yourself. I did have the chance to go out with a perfectly nice guy today who asked me out for a movie and dinner. I declined because of the truth I'm not attracted to him in that way, and if I had taken his invitation I would have not only have lied to him but most of all I would have lied to myself.
I ordered My number one meal with a large strawberry milk shake and marched into the theater sat in the middle row and I watched the Vow. Of course I was the only single person there, but that was ok because I was being comfortable with me.
Question is do you want to spend your life being locked away from life because there is no one there holding your hand or do you want to get out and explore the life around you. I to am starting my journey and the realization of the truth is amazing once i've realized it. Hold On and be strong don't allow the love that you have for yourself be blinded by the fact that you don't have a man or woman there to cheer you on. Look up and smile warmly because you are not alone.
Take Care,
Kenneth
Thank You for the Happy Valentines wishes and the online flowers and hugs, that really meant alot to me.
I hope that you all enjoyed your day and also took today to reflect on the relationship aspect of your lives.
I went to a movie and had a lovely meal today alone. I sat there looking at the couples holding hands and kissing
most girls with flowers in one hand and a teddy bear in the other along with their boyfriends, husbands holding their
purses in the other. This was something that did not surprise me. For today was the one day besides your birthday where
you could get into it without any questions. Girls this does not leave you out of this either. Manipulation is always key sometimes to.
The real reason for this letter is to enlighten you on Being with oneself on a day like this. yes it may get rough sometimes to not have a hug or a kiss or even a hand to hold. It's more about being comfortable with yourself. I did have the chance to go out with a perfectly nice guy today who asked me out for a movie and dinner. I declined because of the truth I'm not attracted to him in that way, and if I had taken his invitation I would have not only have lied to him but most of all I would have lied to myself.
I ordered My number one meal with a large strawberry milk shake and marched into the theater sat in the middle row and I watched the Vow. Of course I was the only single person there, but that was ok because I was being comfortable with me.
Question is do you want to spend your life being locked away from life because there is no one there holding your hand or do you want to get out and explore the life around you. I to am starting my journey and the realization of the truth is amazing once i've realized it. Hold On and be strong don't allow the love that you have for yourself be blinded by the fact that you don't have a man or woman there to cheer you on. Look up and smile warmly because you are not alone.
Take Care,
Kenneth
Monday, February 13, 2012
Monday Morning
Happy Monday All,
I am hoping that we all had a weekend filled with reflection of our own lives due to the death of Whitney Houston. It came as a surprise to all of us, not fully knowing how to react over the loss of someone so young and beautiful.
Although I have been a somewhat fan of Whitney Houston I have learned to respect her for her craft, a voice of an angel and one that has inspired so many singers today. I am sure that you can see it in some of the greatest voices today. Mariah,Celine, just to name a few.
she is at peace now, and she should not be remembered for her troubles, but for the heartache that she has brought so many of us through with her ability to Take us down and rock us slow...
Thank You Whitney You will always be loved..
I am hoping that we all had a weekend filled with reflection of our own lives due to the death of Whitney Houston. It came as a surprise to all of us, not fully knowing how to react over the loss of someone so young and beautiful.
Although I have been a somewhat fan of Whitney Houston I have learned to respect her for her craft, a voice of an angel and one that has inspired so many singers today. I am sure that you can see it in some of the greatest voices today. Mariah,Celine, just to name a few.
she is at peace now, and she should not be remembered for her troubles, but for the heartache that she has brought so many of us through with her ability to Take us down and rock us slow...
Thank You Whitney You will always be loved..
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Welcome
Hello,
Hello everyone this is my first posting for Kenney's Corner. I will be posting short stories, poems and music and movie reviews.
This will be my first attempt at putting my work out there in the public. I will respect your comments and take all critcisim to ask a way of growing. I look forward to hearing from all of you soon.
Thank You.
Kenney
Hello everyone this is my first posting for Kenney's Corner. I will be posting short stories, poems and music and movie reviews.
This will be my first attempt at putting my work out there in the public. I will respect your comments and take all critcisim to ask a way of growing. I look forward to hearing from all of you soon.
Thank You.
Kenney
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